Muziktology Proust Questionnaire #12 Subheim

 

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I’m not a particularly happy person so I don’t really have a definition for it. I think for me the closest to a state of happiness is achieving peace of mind; feeling confident and loved, having a reason to get out of bed in the morning with a smile on my face. I’m not quite there yet.

What is your most marked characteristic?
Not sure actually. Some say I have a very intense stare, not sure if that’s a positive asset or if it’s just freaking people out but it seems to be the thing that stands out.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? What is your greatest fear?


I don’t think I have achieved much, there’s so much more to explore. I am grateful my work has managed to touch a few people out there, that’s already more than I could wish for back when I started making tunes. My greatest fear is losing my drive and passion for expression…or for anything really.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?


Oscar Wilde was probably a pretty cool dude, if we ever invent time machines I’d love to go back in time and chat him up.

Which living person do you most admire?
Hard to choose one; There are just too many. I often become fascinated with individuals (especially musicians) who have dealt with some real shit in life and somehow managed to come out stronger; scarred and broken but better as human beings overall. For me, there’s much charm in those among us who find ways to carry on despite the hardships and obstacles life’s throwing at them.

Who are your heroes in real life?
There are a few. If I had to pick one that would be my close friend John. He’s also a musician, not that that matters. He’s a calm force with a deep understanding of love and respect for others, I have learned a lot from him.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I overthink things. I used to be less self-conscious but it sort of changed to the worse over time. I feel like I need to regain some of my self-confidence and care less about how awkward something I say or do might come across.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
The inability to speak out the truth, even if it hurts. I’ve caught myself being like that a few times and have come to the realization it’s doing more harm than good.

What is your favorite journey?
Any journey that’s able to take me away from some of the unnecessary loops in my head. I love visiting my family’s summer house in Greece whenever I get the chance, it helps me slow down and take a break from the city life.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Beauty, even though I’m a total sucker for it. It often makes us reduce our possibilities for establishing strong relationships with like-minded people simply because we don’t feel physically attracted to them. I don’t judge it as it’s a very primitive, instinctive sort of feeling. I just think it makes life unnecessarily complicated.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I tend to swear a lot but I think I’ll spare you the list of inappropriate words I use on daily basis.

What is your greatest regret?
I’ve made mistakes but don’t regret any. You learn sth from your own mistakes and if you care about becoming a better human being overtime you’ll try to avoid them next time.

What is your current state of mind?
A bit confused. I’m just trying to figure things out, there’s a fair share of contradictory thoughts in my head about where to go from here on multiple levels. I’ve been making ambient music for almost a decade now, I feel like I want to explore different territory but not sure where to start as there’s just so many different types of music that I truly love. At the same time, there’s so much other stuff I’m unsure/puzzled about; I can’t blame it on one thing, I mean life is not bad but somehow it’s fuzzy and feels more complicated than I thought it would be.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I like my family, they are good people, I wouldn’t change anything right now. I am the oldest of two siblings; comparing my upbringing with my sister’s, I think my folks put a little more pressure on me. I guess they weren’t as demanding with her so I’d happily (and selfishly) swap places with her if I could travel back in time J.

What is your most treasured possession?
I don’t really ‘treasure’ material stuff, I do like my Korg Polysix a lot though. I’d miss it if it were to be stolen or damaged in any way. If I was forced to give up all my belongings, I guess the only things I’d keep would be a laptop and a pair of headphones, you can do so much with just those these days.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
That’s a tough one. There are millions of people out there who just happened to be born in the wrong place at the wrong time, with limited options for change or escape. Take regimes for example (and we have plenty of those); what are your chances for an alternative way of living? This is externally imposed suppression and as such, it can reach a very deep level of misery but you can’t blame it on individuals. In the western world, where people actually have the options and freedom to shape their own future, I think having lost all faith and hope, having no desire or will to take control over your life is a bad place to be. I see that often around me and it just breaks my heart.

Where would you like to live?
Doesn’t matter, as long as I can be myself and have access to the tools I need for creation. Home can be anywhere as long as there’s love and affection in my life; the absence of those is damaging to me.

What is your favorite occupation?
Haven’t figured that out yet. I think I’m at the right place right now but ask me 20 years from now and my thinking may have changed 180 degrees. I might have become a fisherman or a stunt driver, who knows?

What is the quality you most like in a man?
People who have their own voice and are not afraid to show who they really are; who’ll equally expose you to their pretty side as much as their ugly side, who don’t wear masks to conceal their true colors. I tend to stay away from those that try too hard to come across as something they aren’t.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Same as above. I value these qualities equally on men and women.

What are your favorite names?
Never thought about that, I can give you a list of names that are certainly not my favourite but wouldn’t want to offend any of your readers 😉

What is your motto?
It changes from one year to the other. Right now, ‘brutal honesty now matter how much it hurts’ seems to be the dominant one.

subheim proust

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